Saturday, November 26, 2011

Retards Love Stretchy Things

This is an oldie but a goodie from the old Tard Blog.

I generally keep my desk locked. There are many things in there that could hurt a tard, and trust me--the first thing a tard tries to get is the thing that will hurt them the most. Paperclips, rubber bands, pushpins, white out, glue, etc; these are all magnets for curious tard hands. It is for this reason that I try not to unlock my desk unless I absolutely have to.

Today I needed an envelope for a progress letter that I was sending to a parent. I foolishly forgot to re-lock the top drawer of my desk.

Angelo has had problems before with playing with things he shouldn't. He tends to get obsessed with things that stretch when you pull them. He once almost tore the skirt off of one of his classmates because of the way it stretched. Today, because I left my desk open, he managed to get to my rubber band box while I was preparing my first group to walk to PE class.

By the end of the day he started wimpering. I repeatedly asked him what was wrong, but he wouldn't say. He just gave me a teary eyed look and said that he didn't do anything wrong.

Finally as we were lining up to leave he pulls down his pants and starts screaming.

This doesn't surprise me, as it is more common than one might imagine in a tard class. I go to hike his pants back up and ask him what was wrong. It was then that I noticed he had wrapped a rubber band around his penis several times, and that it was starting to turn purple.

I was fucking floored. I walked him down to the nurse, where she removed it and I called his mother to tell her what happened.

I decided not to punish him, I think he's punished himself enough already.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

People with down syndrome sings


Put on your crash helmet and grab your drool cup and watch a concert full of tards!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Fat Autistic



Here is a video of a fat retard. He is acting Autistic. Now, this is what the adult aspie acts like.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Tard Lobotomy

so heres one a friend told me from when he went to school some years ago told in his perspective.
Obviously fake store I got from lolsaywhat.com. Its still funny.

>be 15 i think
>tard in class to help promote equality and not make tards feel different
>tard gets out pencil and sticks it up his nose
>slams head down on table and send pencil into his brain
>dies

friend swears to god this really happened and i of course believe him. and as soon as he told me i was reminded of batman when the joker does it with the black guy (but got it in the eye instead of the nose).

"magic happened" is now a phrase we use when we talk about tards because of that tards "magic trick".

Tard on the Subway

Here's a lovely story I got from lolsaywhat.com. Reminds me of an autistic friend of mine.

>at subway station
>turn corner in stairwell
>tard is crawling slowly up the stairs in animal mode
>It's just me and him
>Me: Uh... Do you... need some help?
>He stares at me
>drool trickles down his face
>I turn and keep walking
>his hand slips and he falls clean on his face
>MOOOOOOOOOOOO
>burst into laughter and run away

Fat Retard Jiggles in his Underwear


Watch this fat retard sing and jiggle his 400+ pound body. He is wearing nothing but his underwear with the shit stain in the back. Just watch the damn thing, nothing I can say can make this more funny.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Typical Aspie Doing What They do Best!


Here is a video of a typical 6-year-old Autistic. She is still in diapers. Aspies have a lot of problems toilet training. Even Christian Weston Chandler is an adult example of assburgers who still shits his pants. She communicates in nonverbal grunts. Just like your typical autistic. Watch and learn about how autistics really are!