Retard Spikes Punch

Here is another gem from facepunch.com.

I had a birthday party that my mom threw for me and she of course sent out my invitations for me to invite all my friends from the small community. She apparently though the Tard down the street roger was one of my friends or something because he got an invitation too.

Anyways it was early in the party and we were outback jumpin on a trampoline while my mom was busying herself with preparing things. A few people had already arrived when Rog (Half the time he'd only respond to Rog, only adults could call him Roger) showed up at the door with his present in hand. No one answered the door and he let himself in. We didn't even know that he was in the house when he apparently heard the call of nature. He wasn't familiar with our house or something and couldnt find a bathroom within sight of the front door(i know its hard with these inventions called hallways) and seated himself above a punchbowl that was on the table next to the door, entirely removed his pants, and began to take a nasty tard shit, right into the punch bowl.

Just as he was mid-turtlehead pokin out several other guests arrived, and walked in to find this greasy, rib-thin guy with the happiest look on his face makin a boom-boom in my Kool-aid. At the shock of being walked in on he grabbed his gift for the part and ran out the door, without his pants, and down the street back to his house. His mom made him apologize but we still had to clean it up.

Retard Covered in Shit

Another good one from www.12ozprophet.com

There was this retard at my school in 7th grade and one day she shit her pants in the hallway and started to eat it. it was the grossest thing i have ever seen. she also used to bite huge chunks of skin off of her hands and bleed all over the place. she is the most disgusting human on earth. another retard in my school had muscular problems and couldn't control her electric wheelchair and would lean on on direction for a long time and would spin around in circles until someone stopped her. it was always funny to see that. another tard in my school used to flip out and beat people up when they called him joseph. he used to kick the shit out of tons of kids until someone beat his face into oblivion. that was in 7th grade and i haven't seen that kid since.
one of my friends has a job at a center that helps tards find jobs and help they function in society and stuff. he has tons of stories about the tards.