Asspie Strength

From 4-Chan:

Back in middle school there was this aspie fuck named Jacob or something and we used to really fuck with him all the time. The real terrible people in our class would lead him into thinking they were friends and then start ignoring him. I think at one point he thought he was invisible because of this.Anyway for some reason we would just say "pickle" to him over and over again and he would totally flip shit about it and one time he used his asspie strength to pin some kid up against a wall. Funny shit.But a bunch of us got in trouble for harassing him or some bullshit and that's where we learned about aspergers. Now imagine that. A guidance counselor just told a bunch of immature junior high kids about asperger's syndrome, and how the kid we already fucking hate has it. That just made everything worse for him, as I'm sure you can imagine.

Super Tard Powers

Here is a funny story from 4-Chan:

In elementary school, there was this tard named Justin or something stupid like that. He was fairly harmless, but so damn gullible. I in particular liked to fuck with him. I managed to convince him that he'd float into space if he didn't put rocks in his pocket. I remember me just laughing my ass off as he frantically shoved gravel and sand into his pockets. Another time some friends and I managed to convince him if he ate a caterpillar, he'd get super speed. You know how a tard runs, clumpy and slow with their arms out like they're trying to fly? That's what he was doing, while we were all cheering and acting amazed and impressed with his 'super powers'. The last major time I messed with him was when I noticed a big rock sticking partially out of the ground. I got Justin and managed to convince him it was a dinosaur bone. He got all the other tards to help him dig it up. This went on for about a week or so before the teacher decided to come investigate the quiet congregation of tards. She talked to Justin, saying they couldn't play in the dirt. He threw his plastic spoon he had been digging with and threw a loud tantrum. Stomping, screaming, and throwing stuff while his tard friends blankly stared. The teachers had to drag him inside.Pic related, Justin was fuckin terrified of snakes.

Comander Tard

I saw this on FacePunch.com. I'm not sure where it came from originally.

I'm sitting in my final period class--study hall 'cause I'm a lazy SOB-- listening to the tard in my class babble on about nothing in particular and occasionally laugh that goofy tard laugh.

You have to understand: this is in rural Pennsylvania, a few miles outside of Gettysburg, so not only is the kid retarded, but he's a redneck military lunatic. He has this camoflauge backpack that he carries with him and talks to all the time (its name, apparently, is "Commander"-- I can't make this shit up).

Anyway, he had just come from P.E. class, and he smelled worse than usual. I mean, he usually smelled like a tard that never bathed and had just taken P.E., but-- shit, today it was really bad. One of the assholes in the class (a senior) looks at him and asks why he smells so bad.

"Not me," he says.

"Not you? Then what smells so bad?"

"Lieutenant."

"Lieutenant?"

"Yup."

At this, the tard proceeds to reach into his backpack and pull out a skinned squirrel. I'm not shitting you. The thing smells like it's been in his backpack for a couple of days at this point. So he pulls this thing out of his tardpack and then--AND THEN--he starts to fucking GNAW on the squirrel's head.

Christ, it was disgusting. By this point, girls have run screaming from the room, and at least one of the guys has puked. The "study hall supervisor" (also our P.E. instructor) comes back from the bathroom amid all the racket. He comes in and sees the tard chewing on something and decides to confront the tard about it (against the rules to have food, you know).

"Hey, whatcha got the--OH, SHIT." He immediately goes into deal-with-the-fucking-tard mode and soothingly coaxes the tard into removing the squirrel from his mouth.

The tard complies, then looks right in the supervisor's eyes and says, deadpan, "Commander doesn't like Lieutenant." I don't know what happened to him after that; he was transferred out of study hall and kept in the all-tard classes from then on.

Retards Love Stretchy Things

This is an oldie but a goodie from the old Tard Blog.

I generally keep my desk locked. There are many things in there that could hurt a tard, and trust me--the first thing a tard tries to get is the thing that will hurt them the most. Paperclips, rubber bands, pushpins, white out, glue, etc; these are all magnets for curious tard hands. It is for this reason that I try not to unlock my desk unless I absolutely have to.

Today I needed an envelope for a progress letter that I was sending to a parent. I foolishly forgot to re-lock the top drawer of my desk.

Angelo has had problems before with playing with things he shouldn't. He tends to get obsessed with things that stretch when you pull them. He once almost tore the skirt off of one of his classmates because of the way it stretched. Today, because I left my desk open, he managed to get to my rubber band box while I was preparing my first group to walk to PE class.

By the end of the day he started wimpering. I repeatedly asked him what was wrong, but he wouldn't say. He just gave me a teary eyed look and said that he didn't do anything wrong.

Finally as we were lining up to leave he pulls down his pants and starts screaming.

This doesn't surprise me, as it is more common than one might imagine in a tard class. I go to hike his pants back up and ask him what was wrong. It was then that I noticed he had wrapped a rubber band around his penis several times, and that it was starting to turn purple.

I was fucking floored. I walked him down to the nurse, where she removed it and I called his mother to tell her what happened.

I decided not to punish him, I think he's punished himself enough already.

Tard Lobotomy

so heres one a friend told me from when he went to school some years ago told in his perspective.
Obviously fake store I got from lolsaywhat.com. Its still funny.

>be 15 i think
>tard in class to help promote equality and not make tards feel different
>tard gets out pencil and sticks it up his nose
>slams head down on table and send pencil into his brain
>dies

friend swears to god this really happened and i of course believe him. and as soon as he told me i was reminded of batman when the joker does it with the black guy (but got it in the eye instead of the nose).

"magic happened" is now a phrase we use when we talk about tards because of that tards "magic trick".

Tard Tantrum

Another 4 Chan Story‎

>Highschool
>lunch time
>tard tries to cut in the lunch line
>admin stops him
>starts to flip his shit, running around the cafeteria screaming obscenities and flicking people off
>he flips his shit when people hiss at him
>whole cafeteria starts hissing
>he runs up to a vending machine and starts smashing his head against it, it breaks
>school cop detains him, brings him outside
>earlier admin comes out too
>tard gets pissed at admin, tries to fight him
>cop throws his ass to the ground

Helmet Tard Pete

A lovely story I got from 4 Chan.‎


>Elementary School.
>Had this kid we used to call 360 Pete since he would run down the hallway, jump and spin in a 360
>One day at recess Pete lost his fucking mind and decided to headbutt the school's brick wall over and over and over.
>He hit the wall so hard he took chunks of brick out of it and had blood everywhere
>Now 360 Pete wears a helmet.

Assorted Tard Stories

Here's some more tard stories from lolsaywhat.com.


>2nd grade>tard in gr 3, this kid was like 10/10 retarded. he wore the same pair of sweatpants everyday, weighed at least 200 lbs, as wide as he was tall, and was balding. legit. there were huge patches of his tard hair missing.>this fucker peed everywhere he could.>tard pisses in boot room>more specifically, pissed inside a kids shoe>nice hammock made of blue rope in playground at school>one day tard pisses in it>whole fucking hammock smells like piss>tard trollface when school removes it
>Gr 10>best friend has fat black retarded chick named tracy on his bus>every fucking day tracy sings along to hannah montana on her fucking late 90s walkman cd player>loud and annoying as shit>whole bus throws carrots at her one day>she cries and tard rages, bus driver installs cameras>shit gets so bad driver puts in seating plan>my friend gets tracy's former seat>when bus driver tells him this he gets super pissed>DO I LOOK FAT, BLACK, OR RETARDED?>whole bus cheers
>be in gr 12>tard on my bus>favorite tard ever>short, arabic, two lazy eyes>this kid physically cannot maintain eye contact with anyone or anything>super polite but occasionally swears like a sailor so it's really funny>will laugh has ass off if you say "shit" or "fuck", thinks tourettes guy is the funniest thing ever.>obsessed with christmas>has been singing christmas carols every day on the bus since the end of september>carries around an iphone which he shows to everyone, only two things on it are national lampoons christmas vacation and tourettes guy clips>every picture on his facebook (yes, this tard has fb) is christmas related>kid has no memory; i talk to him everyday and i'm still not sure if he knows who i am>bring guitar on the bus everyday and he always asks if its a guitar>wants to be a paramedic>calls every girl he meets beautiful, honestly means it>mfw this tard is a nobler gentleman than i

Typical Autistic Online

I found this shit on lolsaywhat.com. This sums up most asspies I know.


Now, normally, I avoid calling people with Autism/Asbergers "Tards", as most of the people I know with this condition are extremely smart. And I am certainly not an advocate for bullying; I am an extremely nice person.
However, everyone has their boiling point, I have to make an exception in this rule, for a boy named "Ace."

His REAL name is Robert. However, he insists that everyone calls him Ace. Ace has EXTREME Autism or some shit. He likes zombies and anime.
The way he talks about women and girlfriends, it is SO fucking obvious he goes on 4chan.
So, armed with this knowledge and fed up with being nice to him [If you're nice to him he LATCHES ON TO YOU LIKE A FUCKING PARASITE.] I decided to exact my revenge.

>start out slowly>reference memes a lot around him>notice funny looks but he's too beta to fucking say anything>he is EXACTLY that dude on 4chan who bitches about "HURRRRR DEEEERRRRRRRP FRIENDZONE WIMMIN SUCK HEEEEEEEERP">so therefore, says nothing>gradually increase as days go by>start referencing moot in front of him>notice he's starting to get SUPER pissed>can't believe he hasn't burst out by now>continue this torture for a bit>before, finally, in the lunchroom:>"HAY GUISE GO ON 4CHAN SOMETIME LOL /b/ IS AWESOME">Tard rage in 3, 2, 1...>Ace FLIPS THE FUCK OUT>starts screaming "RULES 1 AND 2 FOR FUCKS SAKE">Ace also has this really annoying crack in his voice so this makes it x9001 as lulzy>starts screaming and carrying on>Tard wranglers grab him after he throws a milk carton at me>drag him off>entire lunchroom bursts out laughing
I'm planning to dress up like V from "V for Vendetta" on halloween to have a sequel to this tard rage.

Also, just so we're clear: No, I don't think 4chan is LOLOLSORANDUMXD, nor do I consider the retarded "RULES 1 AND 2 FAGGOT" statement to be valid. /b/ is not fucking fight club.

Robbie the Retard

    Here is my favourite retard on 4-Chan!


>Background info on Robbie the Retard
    >It was the early and mid 90s in California. The school system paired one to two special needs kids in each classroom during the day for periods of time.
    >There were five special needs kids who I remember. Issac was severely autistic, and he was cruel, and you could tell wheels were turning in his head, that he had something dark in him
    >Robbie was Robbie. He was generally VERY HAPPY. Let me stress that, the incidents that occured with Robbie were usually because he was provoked. None of us had the balls or want to provoke him. We knew his capablities. Most of us had gone to school together since Kindergarten, and Robbie started out with us there.
    >He could throw desks in Kindergarten if he wanted to, as he did twice. He hurled them. It was scary. By 3rd grade, everyone in 3rd and below KNEW not to fuck with Robbie.
    >I had started giving him pepperoni's in the first or second grade because I would get them in sack lunches. I liked them too, but my mom always gave me a whole package or some shit, and that was way too much. Other than that I had no real contact with Robbie. I spent most of my time in our group of friends.
    >The other three in the Special Ed were also handicapped in some way. Two of the girls were supertarded, and they didn't really interact often. Another was named Steven. He was a fat, asshole, son of a fucking whore, who was almost normal but just... fuck him. Still to this day, just fuck him. He would go around stomping lunches.
    >His shirt was ALWAYS covered in grease, and he would laugh when he sadistically fucked with you. Thank god he was dumb.
    >Robbie hated the other special ed kids because he thought he was better, and they also annoyed him. We would hear him down the hall yelling at them to "BE QUIET" or "SHUT UP!" or "WAAAAAGH YOU STUPID!"




    >In third grade, there was a kid named Tristan, he was a crack baby. He did really weird shit, like poking people in the ass with sticks he would find, or with pencils.
    >One day Tristan poked Issac in the ass with a stick, and Isaac didn't do shit, because well, he was autistic and out there.
    >This is during PE when all the grades are together, when Isaac's handler caught what happened she reprimanded Tristan (who had no handler) and got the attention of one of the teachers.
    >We're playing dodge-ball, something we fucking LOATHED to do when Robbie played. That shit hurt. He could hurl that fucker. But since he had poor aim, it was easy to avoid. The round was about to start so we were all lined up.
    >I was on Robbie's team (go figure, everyone wanted to be on his team). There were 5 special needs kids, and then the rest of us, in all. They didn't play, only Robbie. Tristan was just above special needs.
    >Tristan tried to sneak up behind Robbie with the stick, all of us told Tristan to GTFO. Robbie turned around and saw and said "NOOOO!".
    >Teachers aren't looking because Isaac has a mini-seizure. Tristan pokes Robbie in the ass.
    >WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!
    >All the adults snap their head, and see Robbie slamming each dodge ball in the basket into Tristan's head. Tristan's face is already red, and he is cowering on the ground, with each ringing blam.
    >Robbie picks up the cart, and slams it down on Tristan. -Adults tackle and get ahold of Robbie
    >Tristan is suspended and isn't seen until 4th grade.
    >Tristan still pokes people in asses with sticks in 4th.
    >Motherfucker can't learn lessons or some shit. Does it again to Robbie.
    >A month later Tristan comes to school with an arm cast. Robbie had apparently slammed him so hard into a wall, and then into one of the dodge-ball poles, that he broke Tristan's wrist and one of the bones in his arm. Robbie never fucking gets in trouble.


    >4th grade
    >Kid in class named Robbie, who is retarded, and Issac, who is autistic
    >We all get meal-worms to raise into beetles to learn about metamorphosis, and the stages of it
    >Robbie drools and can't talk well, but loves his mealworms. Claps the day they come out of their pupa stage as beetles, and names them "Bom" and "Om"
    >Issac's caretaker does most the work for him. Same day his beetles come out
    >Issac stabs his beetles with a pencil, killing them
    >Robbie is infuriated. Screams "YOU NOT HURT FRIENDS!" - entire class goes silent.
    >Isaac stares back blankly. Recess. We come back, and Isaac is sitting at Robbie's special desk - stabbing the beetles.
    >Robbie comes in, sees this lets out a Warhammer cry of WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH, and proceeds to violently beat the shit out of Isaac.
    >Isaac fights back by grabbing the desk and hurling it at Robbie, Robbie is hit and it looks like he is KOed. Then he roars again.
    >Rushes Isaac like a linebacker while the teacher is screaming stop and the aides are trying to stop it.
    >Isaac is thrown from the room by the force of the hit, Robbie effortlessly picks up the old wooden desk, and hurls it at Isaac, slamming him.
    >Robbie then screams "NO HURT FRIENDS"
    >Everyone scared shitless. Robbie assigned to a different classroom. We're stuck with Issac who stabs other people's beetles too, until he is removed as well
    >Robbie returns to our class, everyone takes fucking good care of their beetles.


    >Related: The day after his beetles were killed Robbie had a retard funeral for his beetles, with other retarded kids on the playground. No one was allowed in that area, or retards would growl at them and get angry.


    >5th grade. Same Robbie. Robbie was sitting rocking back and forth under a tree, which was what he did most days during recess, usually watching bugs and shit.
    >One of the 6th graders (who everyone hated) slammed him in the back of the head with a volleyball. Robbie is stunned, rocks forward, and faceplants.
    >6th grader claims it was an accident (we saw what happened, we knew it wasn't). Robbie gets up and screams while crying "WHO HURT BALL ME"
    >6th grader points at me.
    >Oh. Fuck.
    >Robbie doesn't believe him. I had been giving Robbie my lunch food since 3rd grade, he liked pepperoni and I always had too much of that shit
    >Turns around and looks at 6th grader, who is almost a foot taller. SLAMS HIS HAND INTO HIS CROTCH
    >6th grader falls to the ground screaming as Robbie fucks his shit up, with his retard strength. Screams "HOW YOU LIKE HURT"
    >Other 6th grader friend hits Robbie over the head with his book bag. Robbie fucking RAGES. I'm backing the fuck away at this point, teachers and kids are running to the fight.
    >Robbie goes "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH" and fucking drops the 6th grader, then stomps on his balls, picks him up, and hurls him against the tree.
    >Get home later that night.
    >Think about what happened.
    >Ask mom to pack extra pepperoni
    >Robbie gets entire stack, and says quietly "You not hurt me" and gives me a slobbered retard hug.
    >Someone snickers.
    >WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
    >They run away crying
    >Robbie laughs his ass off.


This was 4th Grade, before the mealworm incident btw. We were learning about volcanoes. We had food coloring and had to build volcanoes. Everyone made cinder-cones, except for me and one other kid.
>We made a shield volcano, it was shallower. Robbie was paired with Isaac. Isaac sat there just staring off. Robbie put in a lot of work into his retard volcano. It looked more like a buttplug, but it served its purpose.
>Isaac started eating the fucking thing. It's some kind of play-dough mix or some shit. You could smell the salt. Robbie sees this, and so he tries a part. He spits it out and yells "ISAAC YOU STUPID". Everyone turned to watch now.
>Isaac looked back, and then threw the volcano on the ground, shattering it, spilling the insides. Robbie started to cry, because he spent all his time on it. The attendant apologized to Robbie.
>Isaac got up, and then looked down at it, and stepped on it. A moment later he was on his ass and Robbie had broken the top of his desk off to get up. It was wood, not the metal kind where you have the wood panel above, and metal bars holding it together. The board had knocked Isaac down.
>Robbie didn't get any shit for that because it was blamed on the desk. We all made Robbie a new volcano. He squeed and shit and was happy and kept saying "I love you" to all of us the rest of the day.


    >Robbie goes to the same middle school, as I and my friends. Same school district.
    >A lot more people go to this school than we know, some from poorer areas, a lot are mexican and a lot are black.
    >Gangs and shit are already starting at this point. The retards are all in separate classes now, because they wouldn't be able to keep up with the rest of us.
    >I hear a commotion outside one day, there is a pizza vendor. He wouldn't give Robbie pizza. Robbie had money, and had an attendant there, and for some reason the guy kept saying no.
    >WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
    >I knew instantly what that meant.
    >Watch vendor cart flip across the grounds, condiments, sodas, everything flipping out of the push-cart and flying everywhere.
    >Police guard rushes out to stop Robbie. This is before the days of Tasers. Robbie overpowers him, but doesn't hurt him. Robbie likes policemen.
    >Robbie chases vendor and throws hotdogs that had fallen on the ground at him, calling him "WIENER MAN"
    >Turns out the dude was sold out of Pizza.
    >Robbie had caused massive carnage because the guy didn't say he was sold out.
    >Robbie gets off Scott free.
    >Later, when he returns to school, a mexican gang starts to pick on him
    >One of them pulls a knife
    >Police dude sees this shit, and arrests them.
    >Robbie follows the police man around and says he is a "Deputy" but pronounces it "Deh poo tay"
    >Finds someone smoking, fucking drops them, holds them in a headlock, and drags them to the policeman, half conscious and nose bleeding.
    >Police guy is like "Wtf" and Robbie shouts "I CAUGHT A CRIMINAL! I AM DEPOOTY! HE SMOKED" Cop tells Robbie to let go, the spic hits the ground. A pack of cigarettes flies out of his shirt, and a lighter.
    >Cop searches him and finds a knife. Kid never seen again.
    >Robbie is lauded at a school assembly
    >No one smoked again on school grounds unless Robbie was absent


    >I didn't see Robbie in highschool until I was in 10th grade. He was behind a grade or two, or had been somewhere else. Our PE period was with him, again, and he was also in the weightlifting class.
    >Robbie bulked out, but always looked fat, and couldn't help the drooling. He could, however, outlift the rest of the class. During one episode he dropped one of the weights (a 50lb) he was putting on the benchpress, and it hit near his foot. It flopped down on his foot, and he threw the thing across the room.
    >There it was, stuck in the side of the wall, a 50lb weight. He said he was sorry to Coach Ted, and well, Ted couldn't blame him. He was retarded. Instant shield from blame.
    >At lunch some of the jocks started to pick on them, and he kept saying to go away. He actually held it together, and they were hard on him too. The next day they did the same thing. I could see his hands twitching, and he would talk to himself, saying "Don't be mad, don't be mad, don't be mad"
    >The asian one insulted his mother, and called her a whore.
    >There was no battle cry.
    >There was no Waaaaagh.
    >There was just his hand gripping the neck of the asian kid, until they had to pry him off. When we were asked what happened, we explained everything. Robbie was not allowed back to school for about a week.
    >Toward the end of the school year, the jock who had started it, started to harass Robbie again in different ways, hiding notes in his locker, trying to scare him. Unfortunately the Jock was not that smart... He got caught slipping in the note. By Robbie.
    >When we left classes there was a commotion, the jock was against the wall with the nurse treating his wounds, the lockers were dented and banged up, and Robbie was nowhere to be seen.
    >He had thrown the jock around like a rag-doll.


    >11th grade, Robbie had started taking band classes, to learn to play something. He ended up with the triangle, and was pretty decent. At assemblies you would see him on stage with it, dinging at the right times.
    >Right as lunch began that day Robbie was running around, he looked worried, and he was frantic asking if anyone had seen his triangle. He had the case, and all the parts, but he was missing the triangle. He looked and looked, and we even helped after lunch.
    >He was desperate to find it at this point, and couldnt cope with losing it. He talked to it, and treated it like a person, so he wasn't one to lose it. His aide lady helped look too.
    >Finally, out of desperation, he started punching the lockers and crying. Ours were the kind that you could tap at the top, and they would open. All our lockers were now bent at the top. All of them.
    >After all of that, and not being able to find it, he went back to band class. Turned out the band teacher had borrowed it from his case and forgot to tell him. He quit band after that.


    >A few weeks after the triangle incident at lunch, and a senior started to harass Robbie, calling him a retard, and a faggot.
    >Apparently he missed the memo.
    >He threw food at Robbie.
    >Robbie threw food back and giggled like he was playing. (Robbie had started some food fights a long time ago on accident, and he would laugh so hard he turned beet red)
    >He came up and punched Robbie in the face, with the aide sitting next to him - she saw the whole thing. Dude was a real prick too. John, Johnny, but spelled gay like Joon or something. His dad was some "bigshot" used car salesman. She (aide) was able to keep Robbie from raging andy further.
    >Then he called Robbie a pussy.
    >Shit got real. Robbie fliped his tray up, and threw it at John, hitting him in the head. John pulled his shirt off, nigger style, and started screaming back to take him, that he would beat the retard so much he'd beat him normal, some real nasty shit. This all unfolded in moments.
    >Dumbstruck, all of us watched as Robbie got up, stood in the isle, and basically just stared John down. It was a classic "Come at me Bro" moment. He then said "I AM NOT A CAT"
    >As everyone was laughing, Robbie charged John, and silence along with "Oh shit" took over, as the rest of the jocks started to pile on Robbie, all of them trying to beat him. One by one he shattered them, threw them, and finally he picked up a tray cart, bloodied and bruised as they chased him, and he flung it at them.
    >Like bowling pins, three of them hit the ground, and the other two were rushing in. By now all the adults were in the fray, the cops were storming in, and as soon as he saw the cops he stopped and smiled. Then John, who I guess had recovered, reched passed the Vice Principal, and punched Robbie again.
    >The cops floored him.
    >Robbie gets away with a total lunchroom destruction, beating a bunch of assholes, and throwing a cart. We didn't see half of those assholes again..


    >My senior year in highschool, I was a computer geek type and had kept my grades up. It was near the senior prom, but our school was gay, we had juniors and sophies, but they were in different areas of the school.
    >Robbie is there, with a retarded girl who looked like part of her head was caved in. We all gathered in the grassy area since they thought we should eat together. Look, these administration folks were more retarded than Robbie.
    >Anyways, she says to Robbie very loudly, as shit music from Cher plays "I DONT LOVE YOU" Robbie drops his drink and runs away crying. She stands there blankly and walks off to her mom who was like, Jabba the Fucking Whore
    >Robbie locks himself in the bathroom. Then I guess he took a shit. But yeah, he was in there and his handler was trying to coax him out, with some of the other adults.
    >Random niggers ran by like cockroaches, seriously, and they pulled down the Vice Principals pants, and ran off, dude is standing there in his boxers as Robbie comes out. Robbie laughs his ass off
    >VP can clearly be heard saying "Sons of bitches" when this happens. Dunno if that had any effect on Robbie.
    >Later on, party is about to end, one of the girls is dared into dancing with Robbie.
    >Robbie gets halfway through the dance, and is smiling that sort of, off in space smile. She backs out and says sorry to him, but she cant handle it or something.
    >Instead of screaming and running away again, he looks around and you can feel the pain the tard is going through.
    >He screams "GIRLS ARE SONS OF BITCSSHES"
    >Random nigger shouts back "GIRLS ARE JUST BITCHES!"
    >Robbie screams "GIRLS ARE JUSHT BITCSSHESSS!"
    >He says this the rest of the night, until his aide/chaparone takes him away. We can still hear him hollering it out the car window.


">>312411959
Issac stories must be added along with the Robbie stories. For each Yin there must be a Yang. God needs The Devil, Superman needs Lex Luthor, Spider-Man needs the Green Goblin.


Tristan can be Doctor Octopus or something."
LOOOOOOOOOOOOL you want to talk fucked up? He would cut himself with plastic knives and laugh as he bled, and try to smear blood on people. He was just, fucked up crackbaby style. Derrel was his polar opposite. He was an angry black youth, who was also allotted some of my lunch food. He came from an extremely poor household, and always tried to be good but failed. However when Tristan started his shit and tried to smear Derrel? I dont know, but Derrel just... beat the shit out of him in like 2 seconds. Fastest fight I had ever seen. It was featherweight boxing fast. He was suspended and expelled in 4th grade because he punched our teacher. He wore a hood that day, because he was very very embarassed about his haircut. For some reason they shaved his head bald and he did not want that and was afraid he would be made fun of. She didn't understand that's what had happened, but he ended up gut-punching her and running away. She was also like, the best teacher ever so we were all like WTF.


We were stuck with Tristan til middle school. He got more and more unstable, and then he finally vanished.

Retard Covered in Shit

Another good one from www.12ozprophet.com

There was this retard at my school in 7th grade and one day she shit her pants in the hallway and started to eat it. it was the grossest thing i have ever seen. she also used to bite huge chunks of skin off of her hands and bleed all over the place. she is the most disgusting human on earth. another retard in my school had muscular problems and couldn't control her electric wheelchair and would lean on on direction for a long time and would spin around in circles until someone stopped her. it was always funny to see that. another tard in my school used to flip out and beat people up when they called him joseph. he used to kick the shit out of tons of kids until someone beat his face into oblivion. that was in 7th grade and i haven't seen that kid since.
one of my friends has a job at a center that helps tards find jobs and help they function in society and stuff. he has tons of stories about the tards.