Robbie the Retard

    Here is my favourite retard on 4-Chan!


>Background info on Robbie the Retard
    >It was the early and mid 90s in California. The school system paired one to two special needs kids in each classroom during the day for periods of time.
    >There were five special needs kids who I remember. Issac was severely autistic, and he was cruel, and you could tell wheels were turning in his head, that he had something dark in him
    >Robbie was Robbie. He was generally VERY HAPPY. Let me stress that, the incidents that occured with Robbie were usually because he was provoked. None of us had the balls or want to provoke him. We knew his capablities. Most of us had gone to school together since Kindergarten, and Robbie started out with us there.
    >He could throw desks in Kindergarten if he wanted to, as he did twice. He hurled them. It was scary. By 3rd grade, everyone in 3rd and below KNEW not to fuck with Robbie.
    >I had started giving him pepperoni's in the first or second grade because I would get them in sack lunches. I liked them too, but my mom always gave me a whole package or some shit, and that was way too much. Other than that I had no real contact with Robbie. I spent most of my time in our group of friends.
    >The other three in the Special Ed were also handicapped in some way. Two of the girls were supertarded, and they didn't really interact often. Another was named Steven. He was a fat, asshole, son of a fucking whore, who was almost normal but just... fuck him. Still to this day, just fuck him. He would go around stomping lunches.
    >His shirt was ALWAYS covered in grease, and he would laugh when he sadistically fucked with you. Thank god he was dumb.
    >Robbie hated the other special ed kids because he thought he was better, and they also annoyed him. We would hear him down the hall yelling at them to "BE QUIET" or "SHUT UP!" or "WAAAAAGH YOU STUPID!"




    >In third grade, there was a kid named Tristan, he was a crack baby. He did really weird shit, like poking people in the ass with sticks he would find, or with pencils.
    >One day Tristan poked Issac in the ass with a stick, and Isaac didn't do shit, because well, he was autistic and out there.
    >This is during PE when all the grades are together, when Isaac's handler caught what happened she reprimanded Tristan (who had no handler) and got the attention of one of the teachers.
    >We're playing dodge-ball, something we fucking LOATHED to do when Robbie played. That shit hurt. He could hurl that fucker. But since he had poor aim, it was easy to avoid. The round was about to start so we were all lined up.
    >I was on Robbie's team (go figure, everyone wanted to be on his team). There were 5 special needs kids, and then the rest of us, in all. They didn't play, only Robbie. Tristan was just above special needs.
    >Tristan tried to sneak up behind Robbie with the stick, all of us told Tristan to GTFO. Robbie turned around and saw and said "NOOOO!".
    >Teachers aren't looking because Isaac has a mini-seizure. Tristan pokes Robbie in the ass.
    >WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!
    >All the adults snap their head, and see Robbie slamming each dodge ball in the basket into Tristan's head. Tristan's face is already red, and he is cowering on the ground, with each ringing blam.
    >Robbie picks up the cart, and slams it down on Tristan. -Adults tackle and get ahold of Robbie
    >Tristan is suspended and isn't seen until 4th grade.
    >Tristan still pokes people in asses with sticks in 4th.
    >Motherfucker can't learn lessons or some shit. Does it again to Robbie.
    >A month later Tristan comes to school with an arm cast. Robbie had apparently slammed him so hard into a wall, and then into one of the dodge-ball poles, that he broke Tristan's wrist and one of the bones in his arm. Robbie never fucking gets in trouble.


    >4th grade
    >Kid in class named Robbie, who is retarded, and Issac, who is autistic
    >We all get meal-worms to raise into beetles to learn about metamorphosis, and the stages of it
    >Robbie drools and can't talk well, but loves his mealworms. Claps the day they come out of their pupa stage as beetles, and names them "Bom" and "Om"
    >Issac's caretaker does most the work for him. Same day his beetles come out
    >Issac stabs his beetles with a pencil, killing them
    >Robbie is infuriated. Screams "YOU NOT HURT FRIENDS!" - entire class goes silent.
    >Isaac stares back blankly. Recess. We come back, and Isaac is sitting at Robbie's special desk - stabbing the beetles.
    >Robbie comes in, sees this lets out a Warhammer cry of WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH, and proceeds to violently beat the shit out of Isaac.
    >Isaac fights back by grabbing the desk and hurling it at Robbie, Robbie is hit and it looks like he is KOed. Then he roars again.
    >Rushes Isaac like a linebacker while the teacher is screaming stop and the aides are trying to stop it.
    >Isaac is thrown from the room by the force of the hit, Robbie effortlessly picks up the old wooden desk, and hurls it at Isaac, slamming him.
    >Robbie then screams "NO HURT FRIENDS"
    >Everyone scared shitless. Robbie assigned to a different classroom. We're stuck with Issac who stabs other people's beetles too, until he is removed as well
    >Robbie returns to our class, everyone takes fucking good care of their beetles.


    >Related: The day after his beetles were killed Robbie had a retard funeral for his beetles, with other retarded kids on the playground. No one was allowed in that area, or retards would growl at them and get angry.


    >5th grade. Same Robbie. Robbie was sitting rocking back and forth under a tree, which was what he did most days during recess, usually watching bugs and shit.
    >One of the 6th graders (who everyone hated) slammed him in the back of the head with a volleyball. Robbie is stunned, rocks forward, and faceplants.
    >6th grader claims it was an accident (we saw what happened, we knew it wasn't). Robbie gets up and screams while crying "WHO HURT BALL ME"
    >6th grader points at me.
    >Oh. Fuck.
    >Robbie doesn't believe him. I had been giving Robbie my lunch food since 3rd grade, he liked pepperoni and I always had too much of that shit
    >Turns around and looks at 6th grader, who is almost a foot taller. SLAMS HIS HAND INTO HIS CROTCH
    >6th grader falls to the ground screaming as Robbie fucks his shit up, with his retard strength. Screams "HOW YOU LIKE HURT"
    >Other 6th grader friend hits Robbie over the head with his book bag. Robbie fucking RAGES. I'm backing the fuck away at this point, teachers and kids are running to the fight.
    >Robbie goes "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH" and fucking drops the 6th grader, then stomps on his balls, picks him up, and hurls him against the tree.
    >Get home later that night.
    >Think about what happened.
    >Ask mom to pack extra pepperoni
    >Robbie gets entire stack, and says quietly "You not hurt me" and gives me a slobbered retard hug.
    >Someone snickers.
    >WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
    >They run away crying
    >Robbie laughs his ass off.


This was 4th Grade, before the mealworm incident btw. We were learning about volcanoes. We had food coloring and had to build volcanoes. Everyone made cinder-cones, except for me and one other kid.
>We made a shield volcano, it was shallower. Robbie was paired with Isaac. Isaac sat there just staring off. Robbie put in a lot of work into his retard volcano. It looked more like a buttplug, but it served its purpose.
>Isaac started eating the fucking thing. It's some kind of play-dough mix or some shit. You could smell the salt. Robbie sees this, and so he tries a part. He spits it out and yells "ISAAC YOU STUPID". Everyone turned to watch now.
>Isaac looked back, and then threw the volcano on the ground, shattering it, spilling the insides. Robbie started to cry, because he spent all his time on it. The attendant apologized to Robbie.
>Isaac got up, and then looked down at it, and stepped on it. A moment later he was on his ass and Robbie had broken the top of his desk off to get up. It was wood, not the metal kind where you have the wood panel above, and metal bars holding it together. The board had knocked Isaac down.
>Robbie didn't get any shit for that because it was blamed on the desk. We all made Robbie a new volcano. He squeed and shit and was happy and kept saying "I love you" to all of us the rest of the day.


    >Robbie goes to the same middle school, as I and my friends. Same school district.
    >A lot more people go to this school than we know, some from poorer areas, a lot are mexican and a lot are black.
    >Gangs and shit are already starting at this point. The retards are all in separate classes now, because they wouldn't be able to keep up with the rest of us.
    >I hear a commotion outside one day, there is a pizza vendor. He wouldn't give Robbie pizza. Robbie had money, and had an attendant there, and for some reason the guy kept saying no.
    >WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
    >I knew instantly what that meant.
    >Watch vendor cart flip across the grounds, condiments, sodas, everything flipping out of the push-cart and flying everywhere.
    >Police guard rushes out to stop Robbie. This is before the days of Tasers. Robbie overpowers him, but doesn't hurt him. Robbie likes policemen.
    >Robbie chases vendor and throws hotdogs that had fallen on the ground at him, calling him "WIENER MAN"
    >Turns out the dude was sold out of Pizza.
    >Robbie had caused massive carnage because the guy didn't say he was sold out.
    >Robbie gets off Scott free.
    >Later, when he returns to school, a mexican gang starts to pick on him
    >One of them pulls a knife
    >Police dude sees this shit, and arrests them.
    >Robbie follows the police man around and says he is a "Deputy" but pronounces it "Deh poo tay"
    >Finds someone smoking, fucking drops them, holds them in a headlock, and drags them to the policeman, half conscious and nose bleeding.
    >Police guy is like "Wtf" and Robbie shouts "I CAUGHT A CRIMINAL! I AM DEPOOTY! HE SMOKED" Cop tells Robbie to let go, the spic hits the ground. A pack of cigarettes flies out of his shirt, and a lighter.
    >Cop searches him and finds a knife. Kid never seen again.
    >Robbie is lauded at a school assembly
    >No one smoked again on school grounds unless Robbie was absent


    >I didn't see Robbie in highschool until I was in 10th grade. He was behind a grade or two, or had been somewhere else. Our PE period was with him, again, and he was also in the weightlifting class.
    >Robbie bulked out, but always looked fat, and couldn't help the drooling. He could, however, outlift the rest of the class. During one episode he dropped one of the weights (a 50lb) he was putting on the benchpress, and it hit near his foot. It flopped down on his foot, and he threw the thing across the room.
    >There it was, stuck in the side of the wall, a 50lb weight. He said he was sorry to Coach Ted, and well, Ted couldn't blame him. He was retarded. Instant shield from blame.
    >At lunch some of the jocks started to pick on them, and he kept saying to go away. He actually held it together, and they were hard on him too. The next day they did the same thing. I could see his hands twitching, and he would talk to himself, saying "Don't be mad, don't be mad, don't be mad"
    >The asian one insulted his mother, and called her a whore.
    >There was no battle cry.
    >There was no Waaaaagh.
    >There was just his hand gripping the neck of the asian kid, until they had to pry him off. When we were asked what happened, we explained everything. Robbie was not allowed back to school for about a week.
    >Toward the end of the school year, the jock who had started it, started to harass Robbie again in different ways, hiding notes in his locker, trying to scare him. Unfortunately the Jock was not that smart... He got caught slipping in the note. By Robbie.
    >When we left classes there was a commotion, the jock was against the wall with the nurse treating his wounds, the lockers were dented and banged up, and Robbie was nowhere to be seen.
    >He had thrown the jock around like a rag-doll.


    >11th grade, Robbie had started taking band classes, to learn to play something. He ended up with the triangle, and was pretty decent. At assemblies you would see him on stage with it, dinging at the right times.
    >Right as lunch began that day Robbie was running around, he looked worried, and he was frantic asking if anyone had seen his triangle. He had the case, and all the parts, but he was missing the triangle. He looked and looked, and we even helped after lunch.
    >He was desperate to find it at this point, and couldnt cope with losing it. He talked to it, and treated it like a person, so he wasn't one to lose it. His aide lady helped look too.
    >Finally, out of desperation, he started punching the lockers and crying. Ours were the kind that you could tap at the top, and they would open. All our lockers were now bent at the top. All of them.
    >After all of that, and not being able to find it, he went back to band class. Turned out the band teacher had borrowed it from his case and forgot to tell him. He quit band after that.


    >A few weeks after the triangle incident at lunch, and a senior started to harass Robbie, calling him a retard, and a faggot.
    >Apparently he missed the memo.
    >He threw food at Robbie.
    >Robbie threw food back and giggled like he was playing. (Robbie had started some food fights a long time ago on accident, and he would laugh so hard he turned beet red)
    >He came up and punched Robbie in the face, with the aide sitting next to him - she saw the whole thing. Dude was a real prick too. John, Johnny, but spelled gay like Joon or something. His dad was some "bigshot" used car salesman. She (aide) was able to keep Robbie from raging andy further.
    >Then he called Robbie a pussy.
    >Shit got real. Robbie fliped his tray up, and threw it at John, hitting him in the head. John pulled his shirt off, nigger style, and started screaming back to take him, that he would beat the retard so much he'd beat him normal, some real nasty shit. This all unfolded in moments.
    >Dumbstruck, all of us watched as Robbie got up, stood in the isle, and basically just stared John down. It was a classic "Come at me Bro" moment. He then said "I AM NOT A CAT"
    >As everyone was laughing, Robbie charged John, and silence along with "Oh shit" took over, as the rest of the jocks started to pile on Robbie, all of them trying to beat him. One by one he shattered them, threw them, and finally he picked up a tray cart, bloodied and bruised as they chased him, and he flung it at them.
    >Like bowling pins, three of them hit the ground, and the other two were rushing in. By now all the adults were in the fray, the cops were storming in, and as soon as he saw the cops he stopped and smiled. Then John, who I guess had recovered, reched passed the Vice Principal, and punched Robbie again.
    >The cops floored him.
    >Robbie gets away with a total lunchroom destruction, beating a bunch of assholes, and throwing a cart. We didn't see half of those assholes again..


    >My senior year in highschool, I was a computer geek type and had kept my grades up. It was near the senior prom, but our school was gay, we had juniors and sophies, but they were in different areas of the school.
    >Robbie is there, with a retarded girl who looked like part of her head was caved in. We all gathered in the grassy area since they thought we should eat together. Look, these administration folks were more retarded than Robbie.
    >Anyways, she says to Robbie very loudly, as shit music from Cher plays "I DONT LOVE YOU" Robbie drops his drink and runs away crying. She stands there blankly and walks off to her mom who was like, Jabba the Fucking Whore
    >Robbie locks himself in the bathroom. Then I guess he took a shit. But yeah, he was in there and his handler was trying to coax him out, with some of the other adults.
    >Random niggers ran by like cockroaches, seriously, and they pulled down the Vice Principals pants, and ran off, dude is standing there in his boxers as Robbie comes out. Robbie laughs his ass off
    >VP can clearly be heard saying "Sons of bitches" when this happens. Dunno if that had any effect on Robbie.
    >Later on, party is about to end, one of the girls is dared into dancing with Robbie.
    >Robbie gets halfway through the dance, and is smiling that sort of, off in space smile. She backs out and says sorry to him, but she cant handle it or something.
    >Instead of screaming and running away again, he looks around and you can feel the pain the tard is going through.
    >He screams "GIRLS ARE SONS OF BITCSSHES"
    >Random nigger shouts back "GIRLS ARE JUST BITCHES!"
    >Robbie screams "GIRLS ARE JUSHT BITCSSHESSS!"
    >He says this the rest of the night, until his aide/chaparone takes him away. We can still hear him hollering it out the car window.


">>312411959
Issac stories must be added along with the Robbie stories. For each Yin there must be a Yang. God needs The Devil, Superman needs Lex Luthor, Spider-Man needs the Green Goblin.


Tristan can be Doctor Octopus or something."
LOOOOOOOOOOOOL you want to talk fucked up? He would cut himself with plastic knives and laugh as he bled, and try to smear blood on people. He was just, fucked up crackbaby style. Derrel was his polar opposite. He was an angry black youth, who was also allotted some of my lunch food. He came from an extremely poor household, and always tried to be good but failed. However when Tristan started his shit and tried to smear Derrel? I dont know, but Derrel just... beat the shit out of him in like 2 seconds. Fastest fight I had ever seen. It was featherweight boxing fast. He was suspended and expelled in 4th grade because he punched our teacher. He wore a hood that day, because he was very very embarassed about his haircut. For some reason they shaved his head bald and he did not want that and was afraid he would be made fun of. She didn't understand that's what had happened, but he ended up gut-punching her and running away. She was also like, the best teacher ever so we were all like WTF.


We were stuck with Tristan til middle school. He got more and more unstable, and then he finally vanished.